Rightness

This has been on my mind all day. A girl at work mentioned for the hundredth time that she thought she found "the one," and I wanted to sit her down, look her dead in the eye, and deliver the most moving, witty, and well defended argument against the concept that there is but one person for each of us. I decided to hold my tongue and spill my thoughts out here.

I do not, for one second, believe in the concept of "the one." The idea that there is just one right person for everyone is simply ridiculous. I believe the chances of making it are higher with some people than with others. I believe in rightness, but I also believe rightness can be found in any number of persons.

Rightness is the essential ingredient to it all...somebody who when you see their face everything seems to be in place....it makes you think "but of course." And it isn't any sort of quantifiable set of traits or actions. And it could never be the same from one person to the next. It is ineffable. When it happens you just know you have to be with that person, as much as you possibly can be, in order to feel right, to feel happy. There presence of absence is at the forefront of your mind. Their moods are all you see. You'd do anything to touch them. Your conversations with them become like gold. And should you be so lucky to touch them, kiss them, these things become sacred holy acts of your own personal religion created in honor of your mutual love. Not that they can't be dirty as hell. I've had some fairly violent sex myself. But I digress. The point is, the pieces fit, you feel at home. Wherever they need you to be strong, you are, and wherever you need them to take the wheel, they're capable. And what someone else says good or bad cannot shake your faith in the two of you. You know, and cannot fighting knowing, this is good. This works. Everyone of course has moments of doubt, but when the doubts die in the moment that you hear their voice once again, you have rightness.

Rightness is both freeing and crippling. One the one hand you've never felt better in your whole life because this person provides you with the best sort of self-esteem anyone can hope to find. But on the other hand...take them away and what is left? A mammoth fucking whole, that's what. Rightness cannot guaruntee you that it will work out and all the bullshit that comes at you in life won't take you out, all it can do is give you a sporting chance.

But am I so pessimistic to believe that this sporting chance could only ever exist with one individual? No...not even I, in all my negativity and lack of faith in my chances of happiness, could believe that. How could I when I see so much potential? Don't get me wrong, it isn't a common thing. But if I see promise in someone once every few years I am incredibly lucky. The possibility is so much to have, and being grateful for it, well that's all you truly need to make it work enough to have a chance.

But here I am a hypocrite. It takes just the slightest flicker of possibility to make something beautiful come to life, but this tiny little hope of greatness is not what I look for, not what I hold out for. I hold out for that incredible, the instantaneous, the undeniable rightness to break me, to make me whole.